


Girls, Girls, Girls

by cyncyn1110



Series: And the Song Goes on [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Between S4 E11-s4 E12, Dean/ Sam - Freeform, Hurt Winchesters, M/M, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:01:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6826477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyncyn1110/pseuds/cyncyn1110
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean wants Sam to hurt too...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girls, Girls, Girls

Dawn was creeping across the parking lot as Dean attempted to slide the key into the motel room door. After a few unsuccessful tries he leaned his head against the door letting the waves of nausea roll through him. 

Once the whiskey ceased it's threat to make a reappearance he tried the key again rejoicing when it finally slipped into place. He turned the knob as quietly as he could and let himself into the darkened hotel room that he and Sam were sharing. 

He leaned against the door fighting a wave of dizziness and letting his eyes adjust to the darkened room. When they finally did he looked over to the bed furthest from the door expecting to see a large lump formed by his little brother. 

The bed was empty. 

Dean felt fear rise in his chest followed by anger. 

"Fuckin' Ruby" he growled. Dean started digging through his pocket clumsily with his back still against the door. 

"Relax" Dean turned his head toward the large window where Sam was sitting. "I'm right where you left me." 

"What's that s'posed to mean?" Dean slurred.

"Was she a blonde or brunette?" Sam didn't bother looking at Dean. He just kept staring at the curtained window. 

"What are you talk...."

"Or maybe another redhead? Whoever she was I can smell her perfume from here." The way Sam's voice was void of emotion left Dean reeling from another wave of nausea. 

"Look Sam, I don't owe you an explanation." He tried to move away from the door but was unable, his protested too loudly. 

"You're right you don't. We're not together, you need some time. I understand that this is my punishment. That's why when you made out with the waitress in front of me I kept my mouth shut. When you had sex with Anna in the car I didn't say a word." 

"You lied to me! You slept with Ruby." Dean was finally able to stumble towards his bed and sit down. 

"While you were gone." Dean never remembered Sam's voice sounding so tired. "Since you came back the only thing I've done with Ruby is work. And you lied to me too. I understand why you did, but you lied to me too." Sam rubbed his hands across his face. "I'll wait Dean, I'll wait for you as long as it takes. But I can't watch you come and go with lipstick on your face and smelling like someone else. I know I said I'd give you space and I've done my best to just be your brother but I can't stand by to watch it anymore." 

Sam stood from his place on the chair and walked past Dean to his own bed. "Get some sleep. I'm gonna go have breakfast before we have to check out." He grabbed his wallet and left without another word.

Dean sat and hung his head in shame. After he and Sam had worked the rougarou case Dean had told Sam that he needed time. He couldn't easily get past knowing that Sam had slept with that demon bitch. It still stung and Dean didn't want to carry that into what he and Sam had. He just wanted to get past it before they got back to being them. 

But when the waitress came on to him he let that pang of jealousy rule his decision. He knew that Sam was watching when he kissed Jamie after their monster movie case. He expected a blow-up when he got back into the car but Sam remained quiet. He never brought it up. 

When Ruby popped in on them then began helping them keep Anna from the Angels and the Demons he couldn't help but feel the streak of jealousy and anger shoot through his chest. He knew exactly what he was doing when he slept with Anna. He wanted Sam to hurt the way he hurt. 

When Sam didn't say a word Dean decided to push it further. 

As soon as they parked in the motel parking lot he was looking around for the nearest bar. He didn't even bother having dinner with Sam. Just threw his duffel on the floor near the bed closest to the door and told Sam he'd be back. He didn't spare him a second glance as he walked out the door. 

It didn't take more than two minutes before Dean had some girl eating out of the palm of his hand. He felt her eyes on him the second he stepped into the smoke filled pool hall. Within twenty minutes she had him crowded in a booth towards the back and was trying to swallow his face whole. 

Dean entertained her for little while but let her down easy deciding to buy a bottle of Jack from the bartender and getting drunk in the open field next door. 

He emptied the bottle and thought about Sam. 

He wondered how long he could keep this up. How patient his baby brother would be. The older brother in him wanted to keep going, teach Sammy a lesson. The man in him who died for his lover wanted to gather Sam into his arms and tell him that they would be ok. That it would take time but they would be ok. 

Dean let himself fall back on the bed closing his eyes against the spinning room. Sam was right. Dean was just being cruel. 

Dean thought back to when they were much younger, when Dean first began to suspect that Sam was having the same feelings that he himself had been experiencing for a while. 

Sam was always beautiful. His eyes, his hair, his lips all called to Dean even when his baby brother was only 16. Dean had already decided to take his feelings to the grave being that he couldn't exorcise them out of himself. 

Then he began to notice the way Sam looked at him. If Dean was getting ready to go out Sam would often pretend to be engrossed in a book but when he thought Dean wasn't looking he would watch his big brothers movements. Often with his lip caught between his teeth and a frown on his face. 

When they were out together Sam always stayed close. His growth spurt putting their shoulders at nearly equal height so that they bumped together. There were days when Dean had to dig his fingernails into the palm of his hand to keep from reaching an arm out to dragSam in and sticking his nose into that stupidly long hair. There were days that he gave in but played it off by ruffling Sam's hair instead which always got him a bitch face. 

Dean was careful not to encourage Sam but he didn't discourage him either. If Sam leaned into him as they were walking Dean let him. When Sam would sit too close while watching tv Dean often took advantage and used him as a pillow. If they were in a motel room with no couch instead of sprawling in two separate beds to watch a movie he'd let Sam cram into his although by then his little brother was long enough to barely fit on his own.

It was one of those times that Dean realized he had let it go to far. 

A rain filled forecast had Dean and Sam stuck inside for the weekend while John was on a hunt two towns away. Luckily there was an action movie marathon to keep them both occupied. 

Sam was dozing stretched across the bed with his head on Dean's stomach. Dean was taking advantage of Sam's unconsciousness and running his fingers through brown lox when Sam spoke in his sleep. 

"Dean." 

Dean pulled his hand away thinking maybe he'd woken him up but Sam was still sleeping. 

"C'mon, just do it" Sam slurred "I want you to."

Dean's heart began to thump in his chest so hard that he was sure it would wake Sam up. 

"D-do what Sammy?" 

The way Sam licked at his bottom lip made something coil deep in his gut and his jeans tightened instantly.

"Kiss me." Sam began rubbing his hand across his own stomach which drew Dean's eyes to the growing bulge trapped in Sam's jeans. "C'mon please."

Dean caught his hand on its way to run his thumb across Sam's lips, cursing himself for even thinking about it. Dean slowly and carefully moved out from beneath Sam. He crept into the bathroom and before the door was all the way shut he was undoing the top button and shoving his hand inside of his pants roughly. 

It only took a few strokes before he was coming all over himself with Sam's name escaping his lips. The shame he felt chased his orgasm and settled into his chest like a ton of bricks. 

Once he could think clearly Dean cursed himself again. How could he fuck up so massively? How could he infect his innocent kid brother with his own dirty fantasies. Dean sat down hard on the dingy bathroom floor with his head in his hands. He had to fix it. He had to set things right. 

That night Dean went out and came back to their room with a blonde with huge boobs. He made out with her while Sam pretended to be asleep in the next bed.

Dean had never hidden the fact that he dated but he had never been that blatant about it. The whole time he was imagining what it would be like to kiss Sam. What it would be like to run his hands across his little brothers tight ass while they were pressed together. When whatever her name was started to get a little too into it he sent her home and crawled back into his bed alone. 

The following morning Sam wouldn't even look at him. Dean ignored the ache in his chest that left him unable to breath and went on as if he had no idea what was bothering his brother. That night he went out again. He didn't bring anyone home but he made sure Sam knew what he'd been up to.

Now Dean was parading women in front of Sam for a different reason. 

As drunken sleep began to claim him Dean knew it had to stop. The last time he lost Sam for four years and he barely survived. This time they were too far in. He could lose Sam for good. Dean closed his eyes and drifted off to memories of what it was like when Sam had left him.

\-------------------------------------

When Dean opened his eyes the entire room seemed to be vibrating. He groaned at the mid day light shining in his face. The clock said it was 11:10 which meant he had been asleep for around 5 hours and still felt like shit. 

He sat up slowly and let his nausea settle while he replayed the events of the night before. When everything finally clicked into place and he turned to see Sam's bed still empty and unslept in. His stomach cramped and his head ached at the thought of where he might be but Dean didn't reach for his phone. Instead he moved carefully towards the bathroom and started a cold shower.

When he emerged 20 minutes later with a towel wrapped around his waist and feeling human again he found Sam sitting at the laptop. 

"Hey" he said quietly. 

"Hey." Sam responded. "There's coffee by your bed and I got you a breakfast burrito. You should pack, we gotta check out." Sam kept his eyes on the screen and his voice was void of emotion.

"Thanks. Aren't you gonna pack?" He watched Sam continue to act as if he hadn't called Dean out only hours before.

"I packed last night." 

It dawned on Dean that Sam's intentions were to not be there when he stumbled back in. A cold chill swept through Deans body and he took a step closer. 

"Sammy... I uh..." He began but stalled out unable to find the words. 

"Found a case in Iowa. We should get on the road" Sam said filling the space for him. He snapped the laptop closed and stood. "I'll wait for you outside." Sam stood and for the second time that morning left the room without sparing a glance at Dean. 

\-------------------------------------

The ride was tense to say the least. Dean tried to make small talk but Sam only spoke in two to three word answers. Halfway to Sioux City Dean gave up and turned up the radio then had to change it quickly when a stupid Motley Crue song that hit a little too close for comfort came on. 

When they pulled up to the motel in the center of town he parked and got out to get them a room. He heard the passenger door open and close behind him but didn't think twice about it being that Sam often got out to stretch his legs. 

Dean was hit by a blast of cold air when opened the glass door to the office. The small bell attached alerted the older woman who walked in from a separate room and offered him a smile. 

"Hello there!" She chirped "what can I get you." 

The bell behind him rang again and Dean turned to see Sam crossing the threshold. Dean quirked an eyebrow questioningly but answered the woman instead of addressing Sam. 

"Yeah we'd like a room." The sweet smile she gave him indicated that she, like so many others had come to the conclusion that he and Sam were a couple. 

"Um actually two rooms." Sam spoke without hesitation leaving no room for Dean to think he was asking if that was ok. He approached the counter giving Dean plenty of space.

"Sam, that's not necessary." He heard a small cough from the office manager and looked over to see her raise her eyebrows.

"No, it is." Sam looked at Dean with confusion and hurt on his face. "Is it really that important to you to rub this in my face?" 

Dean closed the space between he and Sam. "No, look I'm sorry. You were right. I just wanted.... It doesn't matter I'm done with that. I promise you."

"So what Dean? What does this mean for us?" 

"It means I'm still gonna need time, we both are but I know in the end it's gonna be me and you. It's always gonna be me and you. That hasn't changed has it?" He was honestly asking. He knew Sam could see that in his eyes. 

He let out a breath of relief when Sam shook his head. 

"So what's it gonna be young man, one room or two?" The old woman was clearly speaking to Sam. Her opinion of Dean had obviously been influenced by her eavesdropping. 

"One room is fine. Um double beds please." Dean nodded in agreement as she took their payment and handed them their room key and as Dean walked ahead of Sam he heard her whisper. 

"Don't you ever let a man make you feel unworthy of respect and consideration. You make him treat you the way you deserve."

"No ma'am." Sam responded quietly. "I'm getting exactly that." Sam turned away and walked through the door that Dean was holding open without meeting his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Guys this season is so heavy. Bare with me, it's breaking my heart just to write it.


End file.
